First Love, True Love
by JasonMorganfan87
Summary: Edward wasn't the first guy Bella loved, nor was he the first guy to leave her. What happens when her first love comes back into her life months after Edward leaves? Will she forgive him and take him back or is it Edward she wants?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight or any of its characters. **

**First Love, True Love**

**Bella's POV**

I saw them from Jacob's bedroom when I went to see them. I had gone to see him to find out why he kept avoiding me. When I looked out the window, I saw Sam Uley and his gang standing several feet away.

It was really only one of them that caught my attention. The face of a boy that I hadn't seen, other than in my dreams for years. I'd thought I'd never see him again. He'd left my life when I was sixteen and I never heard from him again. It tore him apart. Yet here he was now just a few feet away.

I ran out the back door and towards all four men. I was beyond angry. When I saw him, all the pain and anger from losing him came back. There had been a lot of pain and anger, maybe even more so than when I lost Edward. I'd lost it more when Edward left, but I think that was more to with the fact I'd been left a second time. I tried not to think about it, but it was hard not to when the people you loved made a habit out of leaving you.

I picked up speed as I got closer and I became more angry and hurt by the second. My eyes met his and his mine. He recognized me, not that I really expected me not to. It had only been about two years since we last saw each other. He wouldn't have forgotten me.

As I got closer all four men regarded me carefully, especially Sam. I think he thought I was coming after him. A few minutes ago, I probably would've. I would've wanted to know what exactly he'd done to Jacob. Not anymore. Jacob was barely a thought in my head compared to _him_.

I walked past the other boys and went to _him_, to Jared. I looked at him dead in the face for a second and slapped him across the face. "You son of a bitch!"

Two of the other guys, one whom I knew was Jake's friend Embry, started laughing at Jared's expense.

"Bella, let me…"

I cut Jared off by slapping him a second time. It had hurt my hand both times, but I didn't care. I was angry and I wanted him to know it. I raised my hand to hit him again, but this time he grabbed my wrist.

"Bella, stop, you're gonna hurt yourself," Jared said in that caring voice he always used when talking to me.

I yanked my hand free and laughed humorlessly. "Right. Of course you don't want me to hurt myself. Why would you let me do it when you can do it yourself?!"

"No, I never wanted to hurt you," Jared swore in a voice that pleaded with me to believe him.

The anger inside me now was more intense than any I'd ever felt and I was glad. I would captivate on it because once it went away, I would feel nothing but pain, just like I had when Edward left and when Jared left. Only this time I had a feeling it would kill me.

"Yo, Jared, do you know Bella?" Embry asked.

I ignored Embry and the others. As far as I was concerned, Jared was the only one there. "You didn't want to hurt me? What exactly did you think would happen when you walked out of my life?!"

"You act like it was my choice. My mom forced me to move," Jared said.

"Yeah, did she force you to break up with me and never contact me again too?" That's right, I dated Jared. We dated for over two years. I'd known Jared since I was eight. We'd started dating when we were fourteen until he left when we were sixteen. Everyone thought Edward was the first guy I loved, but he wasn't. That title went to Jared.

"Whoa, you dated Bella? Jake's gonna kill you," Embry said.

"Shut up, Embry! Stay out of this!" Jared said angrily before turning to me. "Bella, come for a walk with me. I'll explain."

Jared reached out to touch me, but I pushed him a way. "No, don't touch me! I just came over to tell you what a bastard you are! Everything I've been through is because of you!" Okay, that was a bit much. It wasn't Jared's fault that Edward had left me, but it was his fault that the pain was so intense because I felt the pain of losing him too.

"Bella, please," Jared begged.

"No! Go to hell!" I yelled before running away from him as fast as I could.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

**Jared's POV**

I was shocked when I saw her. I never thought I'd see Bella ever again after I left Phoenix. I knew that Jacob had been in love with someone named Bella, but I never thought it could be my Bella. The girl I dated the first two years of high school and the girl I still saw every time I closed my eyes.

I'd met Bella when I was little and my dad moved me to Phoenix. My parents had gone through a messy divorce, which included a custody dispute which my dad had won. Divorced parents were what Bella and I had in common. It was how we became friends. We both knew what it was like to have divorced parents and to be forced away from one of them.

We were best friends for years. We did everything together. Then when we were fourteen, we decided to date. I'd come to love her more than my own life. She was everything to me. Unfortunately, when I was sixteen, my mom got custody of me. I fought that with everything I had, as did my dad, but it didn't work. My mom won and I was forced back to the reservation, away from Bella. I broke up with her because I knew that I wouldn't be able to see her again until I was eighteen. My mom was never going to let me go back to Phoenix, even just to visit. I couldn't make Bella wait for me. It wouldn't be fair. So I broke her heart and my own

Now here we were face to face again. Only it was different this time, at least for me. When I saw her, it was like we were the only two people in the universe. Hell, there was no universe. There wasn't even the ground. All there was, was her. I lived for her now. No one else in the world mattered. I knew what it meant. I had just imprinted on the first and only girl I ever loved.

I was brought back to reality only after Bella smacked me. "You son of a bitch!" she screamed at me.

I was vaguely aware of my friends' laughter, but I paid them no mind. I focused on my girl and what I was going to say to her. "Bella, let me…"

I was cut off mid-sentence when Bella slapped me again. She went to do it again, but I grabbed her wrist to stop her. My skin was really hard. She was gonna hurt her hand if she kept this up. "Bella, stop, you're gonna hurt yourself."'

She laughed at me. It wasn't the funny kind of laugh though. It was more the bitter, angry kind of laugh. "Right. Of course you don't want me to hurt myself. Why would you let me do it when you can do it yourself?!"

It hurt to hear that she thought I'd wanna hurt her, but I certainly understood it. "No, I never wanted to hurt you."

"Yo, Jared, do you know Bella?" Embry asked.

Neither one of us paid him any attention. We were too focused on each other. Bella appeared to get more angry every time I spoke. "You didn't want to hurt me? What exactly did you think would happen when you walked out of my life?!"

"You act like it was my choice. My mom forced me to move," I said. Couldn't she see that I didn't want this to happen? I never wanted to come back to La Push. I didn't wanna leave her. I wasn't given a choice in the matter.

"Yeah, did she force you to break up with me and never contact me again too?" Bella asked me angrily.

My girl had me there. My mom didn't force me to break up with her, though she did make it damn near impossible for me to keep the relationship. I had to make Bella understand this. I had to get her to forgive me.

"Whoa, you dated Bella? Jake's gonna kill you," Embry said.

Shut up, Embry! Stay out of this!" I yelled at him. I didn't need him making comments right now, and I certainly didn't care what Jacob thought. Bella was mine and I had to find a way to work this out with her. I went to touch her. "Bella, come for a walk with me. I'll explain."

Bella pushed me away. "No, don't touch me! I just came over to tell you what a bastard you are! Everything I've been through is because of you!"

That certainly hit a nerve. I knew what she'd been through thanks to Jake and I wondered if she was right. Did I push the leech on her by leaving her? Was I the reason she suffered so much? I wasn't sure I could live with it if I did. I loved her so much, even without the imprint. I couldn't deal with her being hurt, especially not because of me. "Bella, please."

"No! Go to hell!" she yelled at me before running away.

I immediately went to follow, only to be stopped by Sam who grabbed my arm. "Jared, what's going on."

"Later," I said before pushing him away and running after Bella. When I saw Bella, I felt whole again for the first time in two years. I wasn't going to screw up again. I was going after her and I was gonna get her back. I didn't care what I had to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella's POV**

I drove away from Billy's house. I was driving faster than I would normally feel comfortable with, but I wanted to get out of there as soon as humanly possible. I was really pissed off right now. I kept replaying my breakup with Jared over and over again. I'd been so devastated by our breakup. It wasn't as bad as with Edward, but again, that was probably because it was the second time I was left. Also, my relationship with Edward was different than with Jared. I'd felt almost dependent on Edward. It had never been like that with Jared. I loved Jared, but I never felt like I needed him to survive.

Suddenly a saw a glimpse of something in my rearview mirror. I looked into it and saw Jared chasing after me on foot. I looked back at him like he had grown a second head. Was he seriously trying to outrun my truck? Jared had always been a pretty good runner, but come on! Even the fasted runner couldn't keep up with a pick-up truck.

Maybe Jared thought if I saw him running after me, I'd stop. Well, he had another thing coming if that's what he thought. I wasn't stopping for him. I was going home and as far away from him as I could get.

I kept driving, speeding up just slightly. He wouldn't catch up to me, but I wanted him to be out of my sight as soon as possible.

I drove for a few more moments before looking to my right. I gasped in shock. Jared was right outside the passenger side of my car. He had actually caught up to me. That shouldn't be possible, not unless he was a vampire, which he wasn't. "What the hell?"

"Bella, please pull over," Jared begged.

I claim shock from seeing him actually running beside my truck as the reason why I pulled over. I wanted to know how he could do that.

As soon as I came to a stop, Jared opened the passenger door and got inside. "Thank you."

"How the hell did you do that? How did you catch up to me?" I demanded to know.

"I…I'm a good runner?"

I glared at him. "No one's that good a runner, Jared. How long have you been able to do that? Since Phoenix?"

"No. It started about a year ago for me," Jared said.

"What did?" I asked.

"That doesn't matter right now. Look, I wanna talk about us," he said.

"There is no us, Jared. You left me!" It was becoming a common theme. First Jared left me, then Edward, and finally Jacob. While Jake was just a friend, his sudden absence still hurt. About the only thing that was different with him was that I was pretty sure he didn't make the choice. It was all Sam Uley and his gang, which apparently Jared was a part of. "Just go! Get out of my truck!"

"No, not until you listen to me. I didn't wanna leave. You know what happened. My mom got legal custody of me. I was forced to leave," Jared said. His voice was laced with pain.

I forced myself to ignore his pain. "Yeah, I know that. I also know we could've made it work. We could've seen each other. I could've come to see you and you could've visited me." Hell, if I'd known where Jared had been moving to him, I would've come with him. I would've convinced my mom to let me move in with my dad earlier. But I didn't know where he was moving. All I knew was that he was moving to an Indian reservation in Washington.

"No, we couldn't have. My mom wanted to phase out everything about my life in Phoenix. My mom's always wanted my life to be all about her. She never would've even considered letting me visit. I would've been two years before I could see you again. That didn't seem fair. I didn't want you to have to wait for me. It just seemed better to let you go.

"And the hell with what I wanted, right?" I asked angrily. It was weird, but I was angrier at Jared than I had been with Edward. Actually, I wasn't angry with Edward at all. I wasn't really sure why. Maybe it was because a part me always believed that Edward was too good for me or maybe it was because of the difference between my relationship with him and my relationship with Jared. Or maybe it was both. I could never seem to be angry with Edward. I just seemed to have such low self-esteem with him. It had never been like that with Jared. I grew up with him. I always felt worthy of Jared's love, therefore, I was never afraid to be angry with him.

"No, of course not. I never meant to take your choice away. I just wanted things to be okay for both of us. I figured that even if we tried to hold out for each other, it wouldn't work and it would be harder for us when we realized that. I thought we should both just move on. But I couldn't. I loved you with all my heart. I couldn't be with anyone else. I couldn't even picture myself with anyone else," Jared said.

I glared at him. "Is this where you judge me for being able to move on?"

"No, of course not. All I've ever wanted is your happiness. If the le… if _he_ could've made you happy than I would've been grateful, but obviously he couldn't," Jared said.

"Who are you to judge? You're no different." Okay, that wasn't really true. Jared hadn't left me in the woods like Edward had and he'd been much gentler than Edward had. But I wanted to hurt Jared and making him worse than Edward seemed like the best way.

"I didn't feel like I had a choice. I would've stayed if I could, but I couldn't. I'm here now though," Jared said.

"So what? You think we can just go back like nothing happened? You think I can just forget that you left me? You're insane if you think that. Just go, Jared. You had your say and I wanna leave," I told him.

Jared sighed. "Alright, but this isn't over. I know I hurt you and I'm going to make it up to you. You'll forgive me someday and we'll be together again."

I laughed humorlessly. "You're out of your mind."

"I love you, Bella. That never has and never will change," Jared said before opening the door and jumping out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Jared's POV**

After leaving Bella's, I went running for a little while to clear my head. Then I went to Sam's. I knew Sam was going to want answers and he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

I wasn't looking forward to this. Sam I knew would understand. All would have to do is say the word 'imprint' and that would be it. There would be no gag order and no order to stay away. Sam would never get in between a wolf and his imprint.

Jake was another story. Our newest pack member was going to be pissed when he found out about Bella and me. He would most likely try to fight me and try to get Bella for himself. I wasn't going to let that happen. I liked Jake and all, but I wasn't going to let him get in the way of Bella and me. She was my world and I would fight to the death for her.

I was just coming to the porch when Jacob burst out of the house with a furious look in his eyes. He charged towards me and pushed me, causing me to stumble slightly, but I didn't fall.

"You bastard! How could you?" Jake asked again as he shoved me again.

I pushed him right back. "Back off, man."

Jake hissed and through a punch at me, which I barely managed to dodge by ducking. "How could you? You knew I loved her!"

"Okay, first of all, I don't know how much you think you know, but you can stop acting like I've betrayed you because I haven't!" I yelled at him. I wasn't taking this. My relationship with Bella began and ended long before I even met Jacob Black. "And second of all, you don't know love her. You don't even know her. You've been around Bella consistently for just a few weeks. You were good to her and I appreciate that, but do you really think that means you know her? It certainly doesn't mean you love her. You have a crush on her. That's all it is. I was with Bella for two years and before that, we were best friends since we were children. What we had was love and we will get it back again."

"Like hell!" Jake yelled before throwing another punch. This time he did connect with my jaw.

I punched Jacob right back and sent him to the ground.

Just then, Sam came out, followed by the other. "Hey! Both of you knock it off!"

Jacob and I glared at each other. "I'm not gonna let you have her. She's mine!"

"No, she's not yours. She will never be yours," I said.

"She hates you. Embry told me she slapped you twice," Jake said with a smug grin.

"She's mad at me. That doesn't mean she hates me. Hell, if anything, it's a testament to how much she loves me. She wouldn't be so angry with me if didn't love me." I knew Bella still loved me, even if she didn't know it. If she didn't love me, it wouldn't bother her so much that she loved.

"You're dreaming, Cameron. She moved on from you. She traded you in for a leach. Even the bloodsucker was better than you. You think she would've lost it like that if you left her like that. Oh, wait, you did leave her," Jacob said. Obviously he'd gotten most of the story from the others, at least what they'd heard from Bella yelling at me.

I had to work really hard to keep my tempter in check and keep myself from phasing. I was usually really laid back, but Jacob was quickly getting on my nerves and I just might lose it soon. "You know nothing about my relationship with Bella!"

"I said stop it!" Sam's voice boomed, causing us both to turn to him. "It doesn't really matter how either of you feel about Bella Swan right now. You both need to stay away from her so she doesn't get hurt."

I shook my head. "Sorry, Sam, but that's not gonna happen. Not unless you plan on staying away from Emily."

Sam stared at me for a minute as he realized what I was telling him without actually saying the words. "You imprinted?"

"No! She's mine!" Jake screeched.

"Not if he imprinted on her she's not. Did you, Jared?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but that doesn't really matter. All it is, is proof of something I already knew," I said. The imprint didn't matter much. Well, it made the feelings I already had for Bella much stronger, but that was it. It didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I didn't need an imprint to tell me Bella was the one. I'd known that since I was fifteen.

Sam turned to Jacob with a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Jake, but Jared's right. Bella and Jared are soul mates."

"No!" Jake yelled as he went to attack me.

Sam grabbed him and held him back. "Enough, Jacob! You will not interfere with Jared and Bella's relationship. Eventually, they will be together and you won't get in the way! Is that understood?!"

Jacob yanked himself away from Sam and took off running. I could tell he would phase very soon.

"Embry, Paul, go after him," Sam ordered.

"On it," Embry said before he and Paul took off after Jacob.

Sam sighed and turned to me. "I won't let him interfere. Have you told Bella about us or about the imprint?"

I shook her head. "I'm not telling Bella about the imprint, not until we're together again. I want Bella to choose me again because she wants to, not because she feels she doesn't have a choice. And she will. I will fight for her."

"You really loved her before this, didn't you? You got lucky. You won't have to break anyone's heart," Sam said. He'd had to break his former girlfriend's heart when he imprinted on Emily. He hated that. He loved Emily more than anything, but it still hurt him to hurt Leah.

"I already broke Bella's heart. Now I need to get her to forgive me. It won't be easy. In her eyes, I'm no better than the leech," I said sadly.

"You're not like Cullen, Jared. I don't know what happened between you and Bella, but I know you wouldn't have left her in the woods to die from hypothermia like he did. She probably said what she did to hurt you," Sam said.

"Well, either way, it's going to be hard for me to gain her forgiveness. But I will. I will do whatever I have to do it get her to forgive me and give me another chance," I vowed.

"Good for you. I sincerely hope it works out for you. Actually, I'm not sure how it could fail. She's your soul mate," Sam said.

I nodded. "I'm gonna go. I need to think."

"Alright, go. I'm gonna give you the night off for patrols so you can figure things out," Sam said.

"Thanks," I said before walking away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella's POV**

I walked through the halls of Forks High School. It had been about a week since I went to La Push to talk to Jake and ended up getting into it with Jared instead. Surprisingly, I managed to hold onto the anger I felt for him and keep the pain at bay, for the most part anyway. I couldn't say there was no pain, but anger was the dominant emotion right now. Actually, it even took away some of the mind numbing pain that I'd felt since Edward left.

I made my way to my locker to put my things away. I unlocked it, grabbed the books I'd need for the next few periods, and put my bag away. Just as I was closing my locker, I felt a presence next to me. I turned to see Angela, the only real friend I had at school. "Hey, Angela."

"Hey. How'd you do with that English paper?" Angela asked.

"Alright, I guess. Hopefully it gets me at least a 'B', but I'm not banking on it," I said. I was not the best student by a long shot and I'd been very distracted lately.

Suddenly, Jess came towards us. "Hey, have you guys seen the new guy?"

"There's a new guy?" I asked. This was the first I'd heard about a new student.

"Hello? He's only all anyone's talking about. Although, I guess I shouldn't expect you to know. You've been in your own world for a while now. Anyway, I didn't see him, but Lauren did and she said he is beyond hot. He's apparently the definition of tall, dark, and handsome," Jess said with a huge smile on her face. She almost looked like she was ready to eat this new kid.

"What's his name?" Angela asked.

"Who cares? He's hot, or so I've heard. I can't wait to meet him. Maybe I'll have class with him," Jess said as she started to walk away. She was muttering about this new guy the whole time.

"A new guy. He has my sympathies," Angela said.

I nodded in agreement. I knew what it was like to be the new student in this school. They would fawn over this guy just like they did me. I hoped he liked attention because he was gonna get a lot of it.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The new guy was the topic of conversation and it had only been about an hour. No one I'd heard from had actually met this guy yet, but they were all gossiping about him. I wasn't really surprised by it. They'd been the same way when I started.

Right now, I was in my English class. I was staring down at the paper I was not all that happy with when the teacher started speaking.

"Everyone, as I'm sure you've all heard by now, we have a new student with us today."

I didn't look up. I knew what it was like to be the new kid. Being introduced in front of the class could be really embarrassing. I figured I could at least be one person that wasn't staring at him like he was a new toy.

"This is Jared Cameron."

My head shot up like flowers in the spring. For a second I thought I must have heard wrong or imagined it, but when I looked up, I saw Jared standing up front with my English teacher. I was shocked, more than shocked actually. I was so surprised to see him here that I didn't think there was even a name for it. What was he doing here? He lived on La Push. He went to school there too; at least I thought he did. What the hell was he doing here now?

"Mr. Cameron, go ahead and take a seat next to Ms. Swan," the teacher said.

"My pleasure," Jared said as he smiled at me. He made his way over and sat at the desk just a few inches away from mine. "Hey, Bella. Can you believe we're desk buddies again?"

I glared daggers at him. The shock wore off and now I was pissed again. He'd done this on purpose. He'd gotten transferred to Forks High to get to me. I could see it all over his face. He didn't even try to hide it.

"Bella? Bella!" Jess whispered from behind me. She waited until I'd turned to speak. "You know the new guy?"

Thankfully, our teacher saved me from having to answer by speaking. "Alright, Class. Your papers were due today. Please pass them forward."

I passed my paper forward and willed this class to end as soon as possible. Because when it did, I was going to murder Jared Cameron.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Finally after what seemed like a lifetime, class got out. Jared got up and left when the bell rang and I was hot on his trail. I was going to find out what the hell he thought he was doing and make him stop. "Jared!"

Jared turned to me with that stupid smile on his face. "Yeah, Bella."

I grabbed him by the arm noting silently how hot it was to touch and pulling him down the hall. I pulled him into a classroom I knew was deserted this period and closed the door behind me. I then turned and glared at him furiously. "What the hell are you up to? Why are you here?!"

"Same reason you are. To get an education. That's why schools exist, right?" Jared asked.

"Cut the crap, Jared. You go to school on the reservation!" I said angrily.

"Not anymore. I transferred," Jared said.

"Yeah, I got that! You transferred so you could hassle me! Do you not understand English? I told you that I didn't want anything to do with you!" I yelled at him.

"And I told you that I was going to do everything in my power to get you to forgive me," Jared retorted.

"And you think stalking me will help with that?" I asked.

He actually had the nerve to laugh at me. "If I was stalking you, I'd be outside your house all day and night. All I'm doing is finishing up my senior year with the girl I love."

"A girl who doesn't love you," I shot back at him.

"I don't believe that. You wouldn't be so pissed at me if you didn't love me." Jared said.

"You're crazy. I stopped loving you a long time ago. I moved on from you," I told him. I mentioned that last part on purpose to get to him. I wanted him to think about me moving on with Edward. I hoped it hurt him to know it. He walked out on me and it hurt me worse than anything I'd ever felt before. I thought it was only fair that he hurt too.

I was rewarded when a trace of pain hit Jared's face, making me feel slightly guilty for a minute, but it was gone as quickly as it came. "You know, sometimes people move on. They break up and they meet new people. But sometimes they find their way back to each other later. That's how it'll be for us. We'll be together again and this time I won't screw it up. I promise you that," he said before leaving the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Jared's POV**

After school, I went back to La Push and directly to Sam's. That was where I spent most of my free time. A, we tried to spend as little time around those outside the Pack as possible due to the possibility of shifting accidently and hurting someone, though my control was pretty good. I didn't phase often due to anger. And B, I really couldn't stand my mother most of the time, so I stayed away from the house as much as possible. I would move out, but I didn't have the money to do it right now.

I walked into the house without knocking. None of us knocked. It wasn't needed. We were as close to family as it came, so we all just walked in. If I'd tried to knock, Emily and Sam would probably bite my head off.

When I got in, I found Sam seated at the table with a sandwich. "Hey, Sam. Where's Emily?"

"Store. Something about you guys eating us out of house and home," Sam said before taking a bite of his sandwich.

I laughed and headed towards the fridge. "Yeah, and I'm sure you have nothing to do with that."

"So how'd it go?" Sam asked.

I pulled out a bottle of water and walked towards the table. I sat down across from Sam. "Better than I expected. She didn't slap me this time. It was far from a happy reception though."

"It'll get better, Jared. She's your imprint. That works both ways, even if it's not quite as strong for the imprint. She will start to feel something soon," Sam said.

"But I don't want that. I don't want Bella to love me because of the imprint. I want her love me because she love me and forgive me because she remembers what we had and realizes that we belong together, not because of some wolf thing," I said. That was why I hadn't told Bella about the imprint. I didn't want her to choose me because she felt she had no choice. I wanted her to choose me because she realized she loved me.

"She probably already does. It's like you said to Jake. She wouldn't be so mad if she didn't love you," Sam said.

"That's what I'm counting on. Now I just have to get her to forgive me. I'm willing to do anything I have to for that. Speaking of that, I need to ask you something. What happened when you found Bella in the woods?" I wasn't sure I really wanted to know the answer, but I had to. Cullen was a part of all this. He had left her to. I needed to know exactly what happened so I could help Bella work through what he did to her and what I did. It was the only way she'd be able to move forward. I knew the basics, but I didn't know much as far as details went.

"Are you sure, Jared? You will not like what you hear," Sam warned.

"I know," I told her.

Sam took a deep breath. "Well, you already know I found her in the woods. She had been out there for hours. She was cold and wet. She was conscious, but she wasn't really there. I don't even think she registered my presence. She was broken."

I shuddered as I thought about the girl I loved being so broken. I pictured her laying there in the woods. She could've died. The very thought made heart ache and made me wanna murder someone at the same time. God help him if I ever met Edward Cullen.

"Jared, calm down," Sam said in a soft but firm tone.

I looked down at my hands and saw that they were shaking slightly. For the first time in months, I was showing signs of phasing out of anger. I forced myself to calm down by thinking of all the good times Bella and I used to have. I remembered us playing together when we were children and holding and kissing her when we grew up. "Sorry."

"Don't be. If it were Emily, I'd be just as upset," Sam said.

"Go on. Tell me the rest. I'll do my best not to lose it," I told him.

"Well, unfortunately, it gets worse. I heard from Billy that the first few months were really bad, worse than even Jake probably knows since he wasn't in the picture until later. Apparently she was practically catatonic for months. She'd go to school and eat and everything, but that was it. She wouldn't so much as speak unless spoken to. She was practically a robot. Her parents even considered committing her for a while.

All thoughts of calm were out the window. I felt a rage that I'd never experience before. I knew there was no stopping it this time. There was no amount of memories that was going to stop me from phasing.

Sam apparently realized this as well. "Go."

I was out of my chair and out of the house within seconds. I barely stopped off the porch before I phased. I took off running, all the while thinking of all the things Bella had been through. I kept picturing her in the woods and then later seeing her so broken that she was barely functioning. I was going to kill that son of a bitch leech if I ever saw him.

Next I thought about my breakup with Bella. I was the first guy to leave Bella, and while I didn't do it out of malice, I knew that I'd hurt her. I had to wonder if I was part of why Bella lost it so badly. Was it just losing Cullen that caused her so much pain or was it the combination of losing the two of us? I'd told Bella that I believed she still loved me. If that was true, and I believed it was, that meant that she still felt the pain of our breakup and probably did that day too.

I stopped running and collapsed to the ground as I thought about my part in the pain Bella had been through. Bella was right. I was just as bad as Cullen. I hadn't left her in the woods, but I'd still left her, and doing so had almost definitely added to her pain. I helped do this to her. I prayed to God she could forgive me for it, but even if she could, I doubted I'd ever forgive myself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella's POV**

It had been about a week since Jared transferred to Forks High. We hadn't really spoken since I confronted him that first day. Actually, Jared had looked rather miserable. I'd occasionally catch him looking at me with a sad, guilty look on his face. Most of me was glad for it. I was glad he was miserable. Maybe he would understand what he put me through. There was a small part of me though that was upset by his sullen demeanor. A part of me hated seeing Jared sad, even if it was his own fault. I tried to ignore that part of me though. I didn't wanna feel anything good for the guy who broke my heart.

Currently I was in the cafeteria eating lunch. I was at a table by myself today. I knew if I sat with Jess and the others, I would hear nothing but them fawning over my ex-boyfriend. Jared was new and pretty damn hot, so of course every girl in school wanted to date him. I couldn't listen to that because every time I did, I felt a pang of jealously and I didn't wanna feel that.

I was about halfway through lunch when Mike Newton came over to me. "Hey, Bella. How come you're eating all alone?"

I shrugged. "Just felt like having some time to myself."

"It's all the talk about the new guy, right? I don't blame you. I don't see what's so great about him. Personally, I don't like him," Mike said.

I almost rolled my eyes. Of course Mike didn't like Jared. I would have to be seriously stupid to not know that Mike had dreams of me going out with him. He also knew that I used to date Jared. I'd never admitted that fact, but after several people had seen me pull Jared away on his first day, it got around to everyone that I knew him. The leap that we dated happened soon afterwards. So of course Mike didn't like the guy I used to go out with.

Much to my dismay, Mike sat down across from me. "So did you and Cameron really know each other before he got here?"

"You know we did, Mike. Everyone knows that," I said. I would never understand why people asked questions they already knew the answers to. All it did was annoy the person they were talking to.

"Well, is it true that…"

"Yes, we dated," I said with a bit of irritation in my voice. I didn't wanna talk to or about Jared. I especially didn't wanna talk about him with Mike. I knew Mike was just trying to make sure Jared and I were over so he could move in himself. You'd think he would've gotten it the dozens of times I turned him down in the past, but no.

"But there's nothing between you now? No, of course not. You don't even seem to like him now. That's good because I was thinking maybe we could do something this weekend," Mike said.

I sighed. "Look, Mike, I've tried to be subtle about this, but it's obviously not working. I'm really sorry, but the only thing you and I will ever be is friends.

"Why? Because of Cullen? He left you. He's not coming back. Are you really so pathetic that you're gonna wait around for some guy that doesn't give a damn about you?"

I looked at him in shock. I couldn't believe he said that. In two seconds, the guy who was just drooling all over me to a total jerk. Apparently when I openly rejected him, his ego took a big hit and it pissed him off. "Mike, I think you should go."

"Well, I'm right, aren't I? You totally fell apart after Cullen left. You were so bad that you stopped talking to everyone. And before he left, he and his loser family were all you cared about. You turned into a pathetic little pet of theirs," Mike said.

That made me flinch. Not only was it how Edward had made me feel when he left me the way he did, but it was also what Laurent called me when I encountered him in the meadow. It just it me really hard. I felt as pathetic as Mike called me.

"Hey, maybe that's why he left you. Maybe he realized how pathetic you really were and decided he needed a real woman!" Mike snarled.

I felt myself start to shake. Every insecure thought I had about myself after losing Jared and Edward came back at me. My self-esteem plummeted when Edward left. It wasn't great in the months before that, but it went downhill after Edward left. There were only two men that I'd ever loved and they'd both left. That was enough to destroy anyone's self-esteem.

Suddenly, I heard a deep, familiar voice call out angrily. "Back off!"

Mike and I both looked to see Jared just behind Mike. Mike glared at him. "This is a private conversation, Cameron. Why don't you leave us alone?"

"You're the one that's gonna leave, Newton, but you're going to apologize to Bella first," Jared said in firm, slightly threatening tone.

Mike stood up and got in Jared's face like he thought he could intimidate him. It was ridiculous because Jared was a good foot and a half taller and much more muscular. He wouldn't stand a chance. "What do you care what I say to her. You're not her boyfriend anymore. You took off on her, just like Cullen."

Again, I flinched.

"At least I'm assuming you left her. Probably for the same reason Cullen did. He realized how worthless she was," Mike said.

Jared balled his hands up into fists. I could tell it was taking every bit of self-control he had not to punch Mike. "Cullen was a fool. He let the best thing that ever happened to him slip through his fingers and he'll regret it for the rest of his life! And who the hell do you think you're kidding, Jackass? If you believed half the things you're saying, you wouldn't have been tripping over yourself to get Bella to go out with you. You're the one who's pathetic and worthless. I've only been here a week and I see how you follow Bella around like a dog. You're just pissed now because she finally told you it would never happen. Well, you're not gonna disrespect her because you didn't get your way. Get lost before a cave your face in!" Jared growled at him.

Both of them continued to glare at each other for several more moments before Mike finally backed down and walked away.

Once Mike was gone, Jared walked over and sat down next to me. "Are you okay?"

I rested my head on my hand and looked down at my food tray. I was far from okay. Mike' words had really gotten to me. I'd always felt that I was out of Edward's league. When he left, he pretty much told me I was just something to help pass the time. Ever since then, I'd wondered about Jared too. I knew he'd loved me, but I began to wonder if he decided one day that I wasn't worth the trouble of trying to work out the long distance thing.

"Do you want me to get you out of here, Bella?" Jared asked.

I nodded. I didn't have it in me to fight him today. I wanted to get out of there and away from the crowd of gossiping students.

Jared and I both stood up. Jared put his arm around me and led me out of the cafeteria. I let him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella's POV**

After leaving school, Jared took me to La Push, to First Beach. I didn't speak the entire way. My head was too busy replaying Mike' words over and over again. He'd told me that I was worthless and that Edward had left me because I wasn't good enough, Jared too. I knew why he'd done it of course. He was angry that I rejected him. He probably didn't even believe what he was saying. But I did, at least where Edward was concerned. He'd told me himself that I wasn't good for his world, that he didn't love me.

Jared I wasn't sure about. He'd told me he left because of his mom, and I knew that much was true. His mother had gotten custody of him and was forcing him to move. But he didn't have to cut contact with me. He didn't have to break up with me. He said he did it for my benefit, but I wasn't sure I believed him, especially now that it happened again with Edward. Maybe I just wasn't the kind of person guys could love for long.

I must have been lost in my thoughts for a few minutes because the next thing I knew, Jared was on my side of the truck. The door was open and Jared had extended his hand for me to take.

I didn't take his hand, but I got out and let him lead me onto the beach. We stopped a few feet away from the water and I sat down on the sand. I stared at the water. I loved the beach. Jared and I used to go all the time back in Phoenix. Most of the time we didn't even go in the water. We just sat on the beach in each other's arms and looked at the water.

Jared sat next to me and I was tempted to lean into his arms. That's what I would've done two years ago. I would've fallen into his arms and let him wash away all my troubles. But things weren't like that anymore. Jared wasn't my boyfriend anymore. He wasn't even my friend. He was just the guy who left. Well, one of them.

"Do you still come to the beach a lot?" Jared finally spoke.

"Hardly ever," I told him. The beach wasn't the same without Jared by my side. The last time I came with a group from school, I'd felt an ache in my heart. I'd done my best to ignore it and managed it eventually when I saw Jake and his friends. Then I got distracted by finding out about Edward. But the ache had still been there at first and again later. Being at the beach just wasn't right without Jared.

"I come. I usually think of you every time I do," Jared said.

I didn't reply to him. I didn't wanna get into the past with him. I already felt like I was dying from the pain of believing that Jared and Edward both left me because I wasn't good enough for them. I had been doing well. I'd even managed to captivate on anger in regards to Jared. Then Mike threw it all in my face and I couldn't escape the pain.

"You okay? You know Newton was just being an ass, right? Don't listen to anything he said," Jared said.

"Why not? He was right," I said. I couldn't keep the pain out of my voice. Mike's words had just hurt so damned much. It brought back so much that I'd tried to bury.

"No, he wasn't! He just said those things because you wouldn't date him," Jared said firmly.

"I know why he said it, Jared. That doesn't mean he's wrong. It just means he's an ass that's right," I said.

"He's not right. You're not pathetic or worthless. You're amazing, Bella," Jared said. He then took my arm to get me to turn to him, which I did. "You're beautiful and wonderful. Newton's just pissed that you know he's not good enough for you. And for that matter, Cullen's not either," Jared said.

I stiffened at the mention of his name. My mind went back to that night and I actually had to force myself not to replay the entire night. "Please stop. Don't talk about him. You have no idea what that was like."

"I know he hurt you. I know I did to. I'm at least partially responsible for the state you were in a few months ago. I'm sorry for that. You'll never know how much," Jared said with sadness in his voice.

"Jared, please stop," I begged with a cracked voice. Anger was no longer my dominant emotion when it came to Jared. Mike had opened the gates to the pain and I feeling it both from Edward and Jared. It was so intense that I felt like it would swallow me whole.

"I love you, Bella," Jared said.

"Stop saying that. You keep saying that but I know you don't mean it. You don't love me. You don't love me anymore than he did. I'm starting to think I'm just not loveable for a guy," I said. He could I not think that? I'd been abandoned twice, three times if you counted Jacob. Obviously something was wrong with me.

"That's not true."

"No? Then why is it that I've been with two guys my entire life and they both left me? The pattern is pretty clear, Jared. It's me. I'm not someone guys can love," I said in tears.

Jared placed his arms around me and held me tightly. I made a slight attempt to get free, but his grip was strong, not enough to hurt me, but enough to keep me there. Besides, the majority of me wanted to be in his arms. I wanted the comfort that being in his arms provided me with

"You're wrong. You're not unlovable, Bella. I know that because I do love you. I never stopped loving you. Sometimes I wished I could because it would hurt less. But it never worked. I loved you with everything inside me and I always will. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I was trying to make thing better for you, but obviously it didn't work. I just knew that my mom would never let me so much as call you once I moved in with her and I didn't think it was fair to make you wait two years for me," Jared said.

"I would have. I would've waited for you, or I would've come with you if I knew exactly where you were going. Hell, I would've run away with you if necessary. Did you ever think of that?" I asked him. There was a small amount of anger in my voice, but it was mostly pain. Losing Jared had hurt so much. I would've done anything back then if it meant us staying together. I'd thought about that a lot. I thought about what things would be like if Jared and I had made it. I most likely wouldn't have met Edward, and if I had, I wouldn't have been with him. Shockingly, it didn't bother me too much.

"I did think about it. When I first found out I had to live with my mom, I thought about grabbing you and the two of us disappearing to like Canada or Mexico. But that wouldn't have been fair either. I knew how much it would hurt you to be away from your family," Jared said.

I wanted to tell him that this had hurt worse. I wanted to scream it at him, but I just didn't have the energy t. I was emotionally exhausted. So instead, I closed my eyes and snuggled up against Jared's shoulder. It wasn't long before I began to drift off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Jared's POV**

After Bella fell asleep in my arms, I decided to take her home. She slept the whole way and barely even stirred when I carried her out of the truck to the front door.

The door was opened by Chief Swan before I even got all the way to the door. He must have seen us from the window. "What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing. She just fell asleep," I told him as I stepped inside

The chief took Bella from my arms. "Don't move," he said before carrying her upstairs.

I obediently stayed put. I knew Chief Swan probably had a few things to say to me. First, he probably wanted to know who the strange guy who brought his daughter home was. It wasn't exactly something most fathers were accustomed to.

Chief Swan came back down a few minutes later. He looked at me and glared. "Jared Cameron?"

I nodded, slightly surprised that he knew who I was.

"The school called and told me you and my daughter had skipped out after lunch. My daughter doesn't skip school, so I'm assuming it was your idea." the chief said.

"It was, sir, but please give me a chance to explain why," I pleaded with him. I understood why he was angry, but I hoped that once he realized the state Bella was in, he'd understand more.

"It better be good, kid."

"Well, you see, there's this little asshole at school. Excuse my language, but that's the nicest thing I can say about him. He's been trying to get Bella to go out with him for a while." I'd only been at Forks High a week and I already noticed Newton constantly trying to get Bella to date him. Actually, date was the wrong word. He only wanted one thing from Bella. "Bella always tries to be nice to him. She always tries to be subtle in her attempts to tell him she's not interested, but he just can't seem to get a clue. Finally, she told him very nicely that she's not interested him. He didn't take it well. He got pissed."

"Did he hit her?" Chief Swan asked with anger in his voice.

I shook my head. "If he'd hit here, I'd have killed him! No, he didn't lay a hand on her, but the emotional blows he struck her with were almost more painful"

Chief Swan tensed considerably. I got the feeling that he at least had an idea of what I was about to say. "What did this little prick say to her?"

"He called her pathetic and worthless. He said that Cullen left her because she wasn't good enough," I told him. I could feel my anger rise just from telling the story. Every time I thought about what Newton said and how it affected the girl I loved, I got more and more angry.

"Little son of a bitch! Who was this kid?" Chief Swan asked angrily.

"Mike Newton. As I'm sure you know, it hit her hard."

"Yeah, I can imagine. I swear to God, if that little punk pushes my little girl back down to where the Cullen boy left her, I'll kill him!" the chief said angrily.

"That's why I got her out of there. She was really upset and I didn't think she could handle being around all those students, knowing what they were probably saying about her," I told him.

Chief Swan nodded. "I don't condone skipping school, but I appreciate what you did and why. Why don't you come into the kitchen?"

I nodded and followed him through the house and into the kitchen.

"Have a seat. Can I get you anything?" Chief Swan asked.

"No, thank you, sir," I said politely before taking a seat at the table.

Chief Swan sat across from me. "I don't think I've ever seen you around Forks before."

"No, sir, you wouldn't. I live on the reservation. La Push," I told him.

"La Push? How come you go to school here then? La Push has its own school," he said.

"Yes, I know. I went there until last week. I transferred so I could be closer to Bella," I admitted. I wasn't going to lie about my reasons. Chief Swan deserved to know the truth about everything I actually could tell him. "See, I knew Bella before she moved back here. I used to live in Phoenix with my dad and we grew up together."

Realization hit the chief's eyes. "Oh, I knew your name sounded familiar. Jared. Bells used to talk about you all the time when she came to visit. She called you her best friend."

I smiled at that. "She was mine too. My parents divorced when I was a kid too, so we had a lot in common."

"I remember how she used to talk about you. It left me uneasy that she was so close to a boy. I was afraid one day she'd come visit and proclaim you as her boyfriend," Chief Swan said.

I laughed. "Well, we did date eventually, so your fears weren't unfounded. I'm afraid to say that I'm part of the reason that Bella took Cullen's departure so badly.

Chief Swan's face became as hard as a rock. "You'd better explain that now!"

I took a deep breath. "Try to understand that I didn't feel I had a choice. My parents went back to court when I was sixteen. My mom's life was really screwed up when I was a kid and she made some really bad choices. That's why I was sent to live with my dad. But she picked her life back up and tried again to get me when I was a teenager. Despite how much we like to think the world has changed, courts still think mothers are better than fathers. My mom won."

"A court took you away from the only home you ever knew when you were sixteen? They didn't listen to what you wanted?" he asked in disbelief.

I shrugged. "Like I said, judges side with moms whenever they can. Well, I guess that wasn't the only reason. My mom played the race card in court too. She talked about how as part Native American, I should live on the reservation so that I could better understand my culture. It worked. She got custody. And my mom's an all or nothing kind of person. She was never going to allow me contact with my father or Bella."

"A court cut your father completely out of your life?" Chief Swan asked. He sounded very skeptical.

"Well, no. He was allowed to visit and I was allowed to go there by the court, but my mom always found a reason for it not to happen every time my dad asked. I knew it would happen that way. My mom wanted to completely erase the life I had without her," I told him. I hated my mom to this day for all of that. I'd told her as much too. I told her I wouldn't forgive her for it when she took me away. She'd spewed a parent's favorite catch phrase. 'You'll thank me when you're older'. She was out of her mind if she thought that would ever happen.

"That's awful. Renee and I had our differences, but she never tried to take Bella away from me forever," Chief Swan said.

"I didn't think I had any other choice but to end it with Bella. I didn't want to, but I knew it would be at least two years before I could see her again. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't make her wait for me. So I broke both our hearts by walking away. I didn't do it like Cullen did. We were at her house and I told her as gently as I could," I said. My voice began to crack at the end and I knew I had to get control of myself. I couldn't let the chief see me this upset.

"Thank you for telling me this. You didn't have to tell me any of this, but you did and I appreciate it," he said.

"You deserved to know. You needed to know that it wasn't just him. I was partially responsible too," I told him.

"The difference is in the way you did it. Both of you moved and didn't have a choice, but you did your bet to make sure my daughter would be okay when you were gone. That little bastard took her out into the woods and left her there to die. And he never would've talked to me the way you are now. You have my respect for that."

"Thank you, sir. I better go. Bella probably won't want me here when she wakes up," I said before standing up and starting back towards the front door.

"Jared?" he called, causing me to turn around. "It's Charlie."

I smiled gratefully and headed out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Bella's POV**

I opened my eyes to find myself in bed at home. I wondered briefly how I got there. The last thing I remembered was being on the beach with Jared. He must have brought me home after I fell asleep. I looked outside and saw that it was dark out. I had obviously been asleep for a long time.

I soon heard someone move around downstairs and my eyes widened. I'd just remembered Charlie. He was home and he knew that I'd skipped a half a day of school. I could already picture the lecture I was going to get over that.

I got out bed and headed out of the room. I went downstairs and into the living room where I found Charlie in his chair flipping through channels.

Charlie looked up at me. "Hey, Kiddo. There's pizza in the fridge if you're hungry."

"No, I'm okay for right now. How long was I asleep?" I asked before going over to the couch and sitting down.

"Well, you got here at about two and it's almost eight now, so at least six hours," Charlie said. There was no anger in his voice surprisingly.

"I…I'm sorry I skipped school," I said.

"It's okay. I don't like it, but I understand why you did it. That boy, Jared, told me what happened with the Newton punk," Charlie said. Now there was anger in his voice, but I knew it was directed at Mike.

I wasn't thrilled that Jared had told Charlie what happened. I didn't need my dad knowing about that and worrying that I was going to lose it again, even if it was a realistic fear. I'd put him through enough already without him having to worry more. "It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, it is, but I can tell you don't wanna talk about it, so I'll drop it. So tell me about that the boy who brought you home," Charlie said.

I almost wanted to go back to the conversation about Mike. Jared was a topic that was just as painful, if not more so. "He's just someone from school."

Charlie gave me 'yeah right' look. "I know it's deeper than that. I talked to him. He's the kid you used to talk about all the time when you came to see me during the summer. I remember how close you were. You called him your best friend."

I groaned. Jared just had to go talking to my dad. He couldn't just drop me off and leave like every other guy in his position would've done. No, he had to talk to Charlie in an effort to somehow prove his worth. It's not like it was surprising. It was a Jared thing to do. In the past, it was something I admired about him. Now it annoyed me. "Well, that was a long time ago."

"Before he moved. Yeah, he told me everything. He told me you used to date and that he broke up with you right before he did. I gotta say, the kid has a lot of guts. I was ready to kill him for a minute there," Charlie said.

"But you're not now?" I asked.

"He explained why he did it and I could tell he was being truthful. He really put himself out there. He offered up the information and he didn't have to," Charlie said. There was a great deal of admiration and respect in his voice.

I was a bit annoyed by my father's defense of my ex-boyfriend. "You know, you were pissed at…him after he broke up with me. Why are you on Jared's side now? Why is he different?"

"I'm not on Jared's side, I'm on yours. But the situations are hardly even comparable. Jared didn't leave you in the middle of the woods, and while I don't know the full extent of either breakup, I'm guessing from the things I have heard that Jared was kinder about it," Charlie said.

I couldn't deny that my father was right about that. Jared had actually been very kind when we broke up. He'd told me that with him moving away, he just didn't think the relationship would work. Edward had actually told me that he didn't love me and that I wasn't good enough for him before abandoning me alone in the woods. But at least Edward was honest about it. I felt that Jared felt the same as Edward and just didn't wanna say it.

"I also think that the breakup with Jared was more painful."

That got my attention. Where had my father gotten the idea that it was more painful with Jared? I didn't lose it like I did with Edward. It was certainly painful, but not so much that I couldn't handle it, like with Edward. In fact, I was even able to be angry with Jared while not with Edward.

Charlie must have seen the confusion on my face. "Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense to you. I've been thinking about it since the kid left. I remember how you used to talk about him and how happy you when you came to visit and talked about Jared. You weren't like that when you came back to live here. You never really seemed happy, not even with _him._"

"I was happy with him," I protested. I was happy with Edward. I'd spent nearly all my time with him and we were happy. It was probably the only time I was happy.

"Maybe to some extent, but not the way you used to be. I think I know why that is now and you're not gonna like hearing it. You need to though because I think it might allow you to finally let Edward go," Charlie said.

I flinched when his name was used.

"I don't think you loved him."

"What?" I asked with a totally dumbstruck look on my face. I was shocked by this entire conversation, as it was much deeper than any conversation I ever had with Charlie, but even more so by his last statement. How could he say I didn't love Edward? I loved him more than anything. He was my whole world. I don't see how anyone could doubt that I loved him.

"Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you didn't feel anything for him. I'm just saying it wasn't love. It was probably part attraction and part need. The need to forget the pain of losing someone important to you. We've all been there. It's called rebound, though the extent in which you clung to Edward was a bit much. I think that's all he was. And then when he left, it wasn't just losing him. It was like you were hit with the loss of Jared all over again," Charlie said.

"Y…you don't know how I felt about Jared or Edward. You weren't even around when I was with Jared," I said with quite a bit of annoyance in my voice. How could he sit here and try to tell me how I felt about the guys I dated. I loved Edward and it nearly killed me when I lost him. It still threatened to.

"No, but I know how losing him hurt you. I may not have seen you often, but I certainly saw the differences in you when I did see you. Not to mention that I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. And the defensiveness coming off of you right now tells me I'm right. You just don't wanna see it. You don't wanna see it because then you will have to let him go. Then all you're left with is the pain of losing Jared, and it's probably going to be ten times worse than before. You poured every ounce of feeling you had for Jared into Edward so that you could forget him and let the pain go. It didn't really work. You just put it aside. Now that Edward's not around for you to cling to, you feel the loss more. It'll only get worse once you accept that Edward was never going to work out. But once you do, once you feel it no holds barred, you'll finally be able to move on one way or another, whether it's away from Jared or towards him," Charlie said.

"I…I can't talk about this anymore," I said before getting up and leaving the room. I felt myself shaking as I did. I could not deal with this conversation a second longer. Charlie was wrong about Edward. He had to be.


	10. Chapter 10

**Jacob's POV**

I made my way to the Swan residence. I was going to see Bella. Sam couldn't stop me. Well, not unless he pulled alpha, which he hadn't. He had done it to keep me from telling her, but he had only used a regular order to keep me away from her.

I had wanted to come see Bella the second I found out about Jared, but I was really angry and I worried that I'd phase. I was less angry now though and I wanted to see Bella. If Jared could see her, I could to. It wasn't fair for him to be allowed and not me. I didn't care if he did imprint on her. Hell, I wasn't going to accept the imprint and I would do what I could to make sure Bella didn't either.

I knocked on the front door and waited for it to open. Charlie answered seconds later.

"Jacob," Charlie said.

"Hey, Charlie. Is Bella home?" I asked.

"No, she's not, but come in anyway. I've been wanting to talk to you myself," Charlie said.

I smiled and walked inside. Maybe I could get Charlie to help me with Bella. He already liked me and I knew he wanted us together. Maybe he would convince Bella to come to me instead of Jared.

Charlie led me to the kitchen. "Have a seat."

I sat down at the table and Charlie sat across from me.

"You look different," Charlie said.

"Yeah, I guess I grew a little," I said.

"Try a lot. You cut your hair too," Charlie observed.

"Yeah, I wanted a change," I said.

Charlie nodded. "You've made a lot of changes lately. You cut your hair, you started dressing differently, you got some new friends and dumped your old ones."

Charlie's last statement cut me off guard. It was filled with a steel tone that I'd never heard from Charlie before. He was actually mad at me. He'd never expressed anger at me before. "Charlie, I…"

Charlie held his hand up to stop me. "Jacob, I've known you all your life. You've always been a decent kid. You were there for Bella when she really needed you and I'll always appreciate that. But now you're yanking her around and I'm not going to allow that."

"I'm not yanking her around," I protested.

"No? So you didn't turn your back on her for no apparent reason? You haven't been avoiding her for months? What are you doing here now, Jake? If you're here to get my daughter's hopes up just to leave her again, my best friend's son or not, you're gonna regret it!" Charlie said warned coldly.

"You don't understand," I told him.

"Then tell me. Tell me why you've broken my daughter's heart when you know very well how fragile it is," Charlie said. He seemed to be willing to listen. He was upset with me, but he was ready to hear an explanation and forgive me if it was good enough. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell him.

"I can't," I said knowing full well that he wasn't going to be satisfied with that answer any more than Bella was. It was the only one I could give him though.

Charlie sat back in his chair. "You can't tell me. I've gotta tell you, I'm not happy. I wouldn't be either way, but do you know what really gets to me?"

I shook my head.

"Not too long ago, a young man I'd never met before was here and admitted to hurting Bella. I demanded an explanation and he gave it to me freely. Yet you, a boy I considered like a son, don't respect me enough to treat me with the same courtesy?" Charlie asked.

A felt bitterness come over me. I knew who Charlie was talking about. He was talking about Jared. The jerk had somehow gotten Charlie on his side. It wasn't fair. Charlie was supposed to be on my side. He was supposed to want me with Bella, not Jared. "It's not about respect, Charlie. I can't tell you. And this guy you're talking about, Jared, he left Bella."

"So did you, Jacob. The difference is that he gave me a decent reason why whilst you won't. Can you even promise me that you're not gonna walk out of her life again?" Charlie asked.

I wanted to make the promise. I wanted to be able to swear that I would never leave Bella again, but I couldn't. If Sam gave me an alpha command, I wouldn't be able to fight it. I would have to walk away again.

"I'm going to take your silence as a 'no'. You know, I once thought you were good for Bella, but after everything I've learned lately, I'm starting to wonder. This whole thing with Jared had me deep in thought. I've seen Bella latch onto you, much like she did to Cullen and it's not healthy. I'm starting to get Bella to the point where she might be able to let Cullen go and finally deal with what happened with Jared. I don't want her latching onto you repeating the unhealthy relationship she had with Cullen. I'm also afraid you're going to hurt her and I won't let that happen either. I want you to stay away from her for a while," Charlie said.

My eyes went seriously wide as I realized what Charlie had just said to me. He was ostracizing me from Bella's life. He was supposed to help me get Bella and instead he was pushing me out. "Charlie, please."

"No, Jake. I'm doing what's best for my daughter here. I want you to stay away. If I have to, I will call Billy to enforce it. I hope I don't have to go that far," Charlie said. His voice was gentle, but it was also very firm.

I wanted to say something to get Charlie to change his mind. I wanted to make him see that I wasn't bad for Bella. I was the man she should be with. But there didn't appear to be anything I could say to get him to see it my way, and I knew that my father would enforce Charlie's decision to keep me away. So instead I got up and bolted out of the house.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

**Bella's POV**

I was laying in the meadow where Edward and I used to go. I was thinking about all my memories of our time together. I'd been doing that a lot lately and every time I did, my father's words about me never loving Edward popped into my head.

Charlie was wrong. I loved Edward. I had given him everything. He had become my entire world. No one else mattered outside of him. I was willing to do things for him I'd never do for anyone else. I'd given myself completely over to him. I hadn't even done that for Jared.

'_That's not healthy,' _a small voice inside my head said. I guessed it wasn't. I thought about all my friends and their relationships. They'd never let their significant others become that important to them. They were important, but not so much that it became their only means for living like Edward had for me.

Why had that happened? It didn't happen with Jared. I loved Jared, but I had friends away from him. There were times when we were apart and that was okay. I didn't think about him every second, well, after the 'honeymoon' period wore off. That was what I called the block of time when Jared and I first started to date. Even then though, we spent time a part and I was okay without him. So why was Edward so different? Why was it that I had such a hard time away from him and why did I let him get away with so much? I never fought with Edward if I could avoid it. The only thing I ever fought with him about was the possibility of me changing. Everything else I succumbed to. I never would've allowed Jared to tell me what to do the way Edward did.

All this made me think I did love him though. How could I let all that go one with someone I didn't love? But did that mean I didn't love Jared because I didn't tolerate it from him? The thought immediately made my heart ache. No. No, I loved Jared. There was no doubt whatsoever about that. I loved Jared Cameron. I would still be with him today if he hadn't walked out of my life.

With that realization, I felt like I'd just been hit in the chest with something hard because that was the same as saying Edward and I never would've happened if Jared hadn't left me. But it was true and I knew it. When I thought back on both Edward and Jared, I knew that I never even would've given Edward a second thought. I might have been curious for a minute about things when he saved me from Tyler's van, but I doubt I even would've pursued it if Jared had been by my side.

I let out a sob as I realized what this meant. How could I love Edward if I knew that I would have barely given him a second glance had Jared and I been together? I didn't. I didn't love Edward Cullen. I had never loved him. I had only ever loved one man and he'd left me. And with that, a dam of pain broke out inside of me.


	11. Chapter 11

It had been several days since I finally admitted the truth about Edward. You'd think that things would've gotten better, and it certain ways they did. I no longer felt such mind numbing pain when it came to Edward. I could say and hear his name without flinching. Hell, admitting the truth even allowed me to start feeling anger towards him. I was angry at how controlling he was with me. He treated me like a child who couldn't make even the simplest decisions for herself. And he'd used me. He used me to distract himself from his lonely existence. But I couldn't really get too angry about that. I had used him to. I may not have intended for it to happen, but I used him to get over Jared.

While the pain over Edward got better, the pain involving Jared got much worse. Charlie had been right. I'd poured everything I had into Edward to try to forget Jared. I'd even managed to convince myself that I'd gotten over it, but in truth, I just pushed it down inside me. Now without Edward and the belief that I loved him, all I had was the pain of losing Jared, and it got much worse this time. Whether that was because Jared was now back in my life or because or because I'd buried it and it came back so suddenly, I didn't know.

I also did have some pain from Edward. It wasn't really from losing him. It was more the pain of being left. I felt like that couldn't be a coincidence. I felt like I kept getting left because I just wasn't worth it. I felt like there was something wrong with me.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. Charlie walked in after I gave him the okay. He was already dressed for work. "Hey, Bells. Feeling any better today?"

I'd told my dad that I was sick this whole week. I couldn't go back to school and face Jared, not yet anyway. It was too painful right now. I knew that if I went and I saw him, which was unavoidable since we had several classes together, I'd lose it. That was the last thing I needed to happen while I was at school.

"Not really," I answered Charlie. It wasn't a lie. I didn't really feel better at all.

Charlie sighed and walked further into the room. "I know you're not sick, Bells. I'm guessing you finally faced the truth about those two boys and you're having trouble dealing with it. Am I right?"

I looked away, unwilling to answer.

"Bella, I know it's hard. When your mother and I finally ended it and she took you from me, I didn't wanna move. I spent three weeks in the house trying to drink it all away. This won't work for you either. Now I'm going to give you today and the rest of the weekend to figure things out. You're going back to school on Monday. Are we clear?" Charlie asked with rare sternness in his voice.

I nodded.

"Good. I'll see you tonight, kiddo," he said before walking out of my room and closing the door.

I sighed as soon as he left. This meant I was going to have to face Jared. If I didn't do it on my own now, I was going to have to on Monday. I really didn't want to have a breakdown at school for everyone to gossip about. I needed to see and talk to Jared before that. Charlie was right, I couldn't hide it forever. Tomorrow, I was going to La Push.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

The next day, I drove over to Billy and Jacob's. I didn't know where Jared actually lived and I was hoping Jake would. They were friends now apparently.

I knocked on the door and waited. Billy opened it seconds later.

"Bella, hi. Jacob's not home," Billy said.

I wasn't surprised by the answer. Billy would tell me that whether it was true or not. Jake wanted nothing to do with me. He was yet another person who'd walked out of my life. I couldn't even blame Sam Uley for it anymore because Jared was a part of that group and he'd obviously had no problem seeing me if he wanted. "That's okay. I just need an address from you or him. I'm trying to find a friend of his, Jared Cameron."

"Yes, I know Jared. I'm not sure I should give you his address though. That's personal information," Billy said.

"Trust me, Jared won't mind. He's spent the last several weeks trying to talk to me. He'll be happy to see me," I said. How long that would last was the question. He might not be too happy when I said what I came to say. I was going to make it clear to him today that there was no going back. I'd said it before, but I was going to make sure he got it this time. I needed to truly let him go now.

"Alright," Billy said reluctantly before disappearing into the house. He came back a couple of minutes later with a slip of paper in his hand. "Here's his address. He probably won't be there though. The boys usually spend most of their time at Sam' house, and before you ask, I can't give you Sam's address."

"No, that's fine. I'll wait if I have to. Thanks," I said before heading back to my truck.

Xxxxxxxxxx

It turned out Jared didn't live to far from the Blacks. It was only about a five minute drive. It was quite amazing. I'd been to Jake's house several times since I moved to Forks and my ex-boyfriend had literally been five minutes away.

I parked my truck in the driveway and walked to the door. I knocked lightly and waited.

Seconds later, the door was opened by a middle-aged Native American woman. She had to be Jared's mother. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for Jared," I told her.

"He isn't home. I can only guess by looking at you that you go to that new school of his," she said with disgust. I couldn't tell if she was disgusted by me or the fact that Jared had changed schools. It seemed to be a little of both.

"Um, yeah, but I knew Jared before he transferred. I used to live by him in Phoenix," I told her.

The woman actually sneered at me. "So you're her. You're the little girl that had my son in hysterics for months."

"Hysterics?" I asked confused.

"Yes. He acted like it was the end of the world. He refused to leave his room. He wouldn't talk to me and when he finally did, he screamed at me,' she said.

I stared at her in shock. That didn't sound like Jared. I didn't scream. I could count on one hand how many times I'd heard him raise his voice, and that included when he lashed out at Mike for the things he said to me. Jared was just usually a really calm person.

"He acted like you were the best thing in the world. You don't look all that special to me."

I opened my mouth speak, but I frankly had no response for it. No one had spoken to me so rudely without cause before. Well, okay, Rosalie was pretty cold, but even she didn't reach this level. Why did Jared's mom hate me so much? I'd never even met her until today.

"Well, what do you want from my son? I don't want you around him. He doesn't need to be reminded about the past. His future is here with me," she said with a glare

"Um, I think that's Jared's choice," I told her. I was feeling really defensive. This woman was acting like I was some kind of plague on Jared's life.

"How dare you? I am his mother! How dare you come back into his life now? He finally stopped moping around like an idiot."

"He was moping?" I asked.

She sneered again. "I used to hear him cry over you in his bedroom. He woke up in the middle of the night moaning about his 'Bella'. He begged me to allow him to call and to visit you. I of course told him no. I refused to allow him any contact with you or his loser father."

Again, I was shocked. Jared had told me that his mother would've refused to let us see each other, but I didn't really believe it. I figured it was an excuse. But his mother had just admitted it. She kept us apart. And from what she was saying, Jared had suffered to. He'd suffered a lot.

I was not sure what I was supposed to do with all of this. Until now, all I thought about was how much Jared hurt me. He'd left me. Yes, he'd moved, but he chose to end our relationship. He'd acted so strong about it that I thought he was okay with the decision, but from what I was hearing, he wasn't. He was no more okay with it than I was.

I began to get angry. I was angry that this woman had taken the guy I loved away from me, that she'd caused both of us so much pain. "Why? Why was it so important to you that Jared not see me?

She scowled. "Jared is mine! He is my son! He never should've even gone to Arizona. My ex-husband took him and forced a life on him he never should've had! You will stay away from my son! He doesn't need you!"

That had been my plan. I'd made the decision to tell Jared to stay out of my life once more because I felt like he never really loved me. I felt like he didn't feel I was good enough for him, despite how many times he said otherwise. I wanted him to leave me alone so that I could find a way to heal. No matter how much I loved him, I thought that he'd just leave again if I gave him any place in my life again. But after speaking to his mother, I knew that it wasn't that simple.

"Bella?"

I turned around to see Jared and his group of friends coming our way. Jared jogged ahead and met me on the porch.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Jared asked.

"I came to talk to you. Can we go somewhere?" I said. I still needed to talk to Jared. That much hadn't changed, even if the result of that talk might.

"You are not going anywhere with my son. You stay away from him," Jared's mother yelled!"

Jared glared at her. "Don't you ever talk to her like that! And you don't get to decide who I see!"

"I am your mother!"

"A fact that haunts me every day! But you are nothing to me compared to her! Bella is everything to me and you made me leave her. Well, that won't happen again. I am eighteen! You no longer have any control over who I see!" Jared screamed. He began to shake the more he spoke.

Sam Uley came over and placed a hand on Jared's shoulder. "Jared, I think you should come with us now."

Jared looked at Sam and then me. He slowly began to relax and stop shaking. "No, I'm okay. Bella and I are going to go for a walk."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked. He seemed to be really worried, though I couldn't tell why. Yes, he had been angry, but wasn't like he was going to get violent. Jared would never hurt anyone.

"Yeah," he said before grabbing my hand. He glared at his mother for a minute and then led me away.


	12. Chapter 12

**Jared's POV**

I walked hand and hand with Bella down the street. She hadn't pulled away from me since we left my house. I was taking it as a good thing. I hoped it meant that my girl was ready to forgive me.

"So your mom is…" She couldn't seem to come up with a word that fit.

I decided to help her out. "A bitch?"

"Well, I was gonna be nicer about it," Bella said.

"Why? There's nothing nice about her. We might as well call her what she is. She's a cold hearted, self-centered bitch," I said. So I was a little resentful. My mother had ripped me away from everything I cared about. She'd cut my father out of my life and forced me to leave the woman I loved. I also blamed her for turning into a wolf. If she'd left me in Phoenix, I never would've phased.

"You know, when you said that she wouldn't have let us stay in contact, I thought you were making an excuse. I thought you just didn't wanna say that you stopped loving me," Bella said.

I shook my head. "I have never stopped loving you, Bella. I took you with me in my heart, even if I couldn't have you physically with me."

"You mother told me how you begged her to let you see or talk to me," Bella said.

There was a pang in my heart just thinking about that time. It had been very difficult for me to survive that time in my life. Losing Bella had hurt so badly. I did breakdown a few times and beg my mother to let me see her. "I… Letting go of you hurt so damned much. I barely got through our breakup without falling apart. It only got worse when I moved here. I wanted you back so badly. So, yeah, I begged my mom, even though I knew it was useless. All she ever cared about was making me hers and no one else's. She wanted me to love her and forget all about the life I had with my dad. What she didn't and still doesn't seem to realize is that her actions are why I can never love her."

"Don't hate your mom because of me, Jared," Bella said. Typical Bella. She never liked being the reason people were angry.

"I don't. Well, I do, but it wouldn't matter. It's not just you. She took my dad from me too. I couldn't even call him on the phone. So even if you didn't exist, and believe me, that's not a thought I like to dwell on, it wouldn't change anything," I told her.

"Do you talk to your dad now?" Bella asked.

"I've spoken to him a few times since my birthday and I even met him in Seattle a couple of months ago. He asked me to move back with him," I said.

"Why didn't you? You're eighteen. You don't have to stay with your mom. And you're certainly not staying here because you love her," Bella said.

"I had no intention of staying. Since the moment I was dragged here, I pretty much counted the days until my eighteenth birthday. I had every intention of going back to my real home. I wanted to get back to my dad and to you," I told her. That had really been the worst thing about becoming a wolf. I knew when that happened that my plans of going back to Phoenix were never going to happen. It almost crushed me.

"Why didn't you?" she asked.

"It's complicated," I told her. I knew I had to tell her about the wolf thing, but I wasn't sure how. It wasn't just something you came out with. I had to figure out the best way to tell her.

"Well, if you and I are gonna make it work, we can't have secrets," Bella said.

My heart leaped at her words. "Are you saying you're gonna give me a chance?"

Bella let go of my hand and sat down on the curb. "I don't know. I'd come here fully prepared to let you go. I was gonna tell you to stay out of my life for good. But that was before I met your mother. It was before I realized that you'd suffered too. I figured you left me because I wasn't good enough. The same reason Edward and Jacob left me."

I went over and sat next to her. "Bella, you are more than good enough. They're the ones that aren't good enough. Hell, I'm not good enough either. There is no one in this world that deserves you. But I'm hoping that I can come close to deserving you."

"See it from my point of view, Jared. Three people in my life walked out of it. How could I feel anything but worthless over that?" Bella asked.

I felt about an inch tall right now. My girl had such low self-esteem and it was because of me. Being left had caused her to feel so low and I was the first person to leave. I thought that leaving would help Bella, but it only caused her pain. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like I didn't love you or like you didn't deserve to be loved. I'm sorry that I did. And I'm sorry that Cullen did the same. He's a fool for it and so am I."

"Edward didn't love me. He told me that when he left. It's okay though because now I realize that I didn't love him either," Bella said.

I was surprised by the admission. The last I knew, she was still devastated by the leech's departure, so much in fact that she couldn't even speak his name.

"That's why haven't been in school all week. I was forced to see how little Edward actually meant to me. I cared about him, but not the way you did someone you loved. I know that because I realized that if I had you, I wouldn't have looked at Edward twice. It was you I wanted, not Edward. But you were gone and he was there. Being with him allowed me to push the pain of losing you away, so I let myself believe I loved him. I gave him everything. I became kind of obsessed with him," Bella explained.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I drove you to that point," I said. Boy was I sorry. I'd driven the woman I loved into the arms of a leech. That alone was bad, but the fact that she got hurt by him was much worse. I hated myself for doing that to her.

"It's not your fault. I'm the one that chose such an unhealthy path. That's why I came here today. I finally managed to accept the truth. I wanted to let you go the right way so that I could finally move on. But like I said, that was before I realized how hurt you were by all of this. I'm not sure what to do now. I know that I can't just be with you like nothing happened though," Bella said.

"I understand, but maybe we can start over, rebuild our friendship?" I asked hopefully.

"I would like that. It's about the only thing I can offer you right now. But if we're gonna even go that far, there can't be secrets between us. I need to be able to trust you. You need to tell me what's going on with you. I know that something's going on with you and I know it has something to do with Sam Uley and the rest of his gang. Tell me what's going on," she said.

"Okay," I said before taking a deep breath and preparing to tell her. I just hoped she wouldn't hate me afterwards.


	13. Chapter 13

**Bella's POV**

I sat silently waiting for Jared to tell me what exactly he was hiding. I sat there for a good couple of minutes. He didn't though. He continued to stare forward and appeared deep in thought. "Jared?"

"It's hard. I'm just afraid you'll take what I'm about to say badly," Jared said.

"Does it have to do with this weird gang you're in with Sam?" I asked.

"It's not a gang. I can see why people think that, what with us one by one randomly disappearing and then later joining up with Sam, though in my defense, Sam was my friend before it happened," Jared said.

"Before what happened?" I asked.

"Well, you remember how you I was able to keep up with your truck that day you confronted me at the Blacks?" Jared asked.

I nodded. I'd forgotten about it do to pain and anger, but I remembered now. That had been weird. No one should be able to keep up with a car or truck on foot.

"And I'm sure you've noticed that my skin is warmer than other people's.

Again, I nodded.

Jared finally looked me directly in the eye. "I'm not like I used to me. About a year ago, I… changed. This is going to sound really hard to believe, but it's true. My people, Quileutes have this gene in us. It gives us the ability to shift into wolves."

Suddenly I flashed back to the day I'd gone to the beach with people from school. I'd walked along the beach with Jacob and he told me the legends of his people and the Cullens. He'd said that according to the stories, his tribe descended from wolves. He hadn't seemed to believe the stories, but from what Jared was saying, they were true. And I knew Jared was being truthful. He wasn't the type to tell stories, not even as a child. "Wolves."

Jared nod. "Yeah. Like I said, it happened a year ago, right after I got into a massive fight with my mother. It was building up for months though. I turned, or phased, as we call it, and Sam found me. He explained it all to me. We turn into wolves in order to protect people from vampires."

"Yeah, Jake told me the stories. He didn't seem to think they were real though."

"None of us did, not even Sam. We all thought it was a scary story, kind of like the ones my dad told us when we went camping," Jared said.

I smiled at the memory. Yes, I went camping exactly one time. It had not been pretty either. I nearly killed myself several times that weekend and even broke a limb when we went hiking. Mr. Cameron, Jared, and I all agreed that I'd never go camping with them again. A weekend away was no fun if there was a trip to the emergency room.

"Anyway, so that's it. That's why I couldn't go back to Phoenix. I'm part of a wolf pack and I was needed here," Jared said.

"Wow. So this is why Jacob couldn't see me anymore?" I asked.

"Yeah. See, when we first phase, we have no control. If we get really angry, we could phase, and if someone's near us, they could get hurt or killed. Sam's fiancé was scarred badly because Sam lost control with her around," Jared explained.

"Is that why Sam tried to get you to leave today at your house?"

Jared nodded. "Yeah, I was really angry and I started to phase. I had to really calm myself down before I did phase." There was a pause before Jared spoke again. "So how do you feel about it? Me turning into a wolf?"

I could hear the nervousness in his voice. He was worried I'd reject him over this. "Jared, I was ten times more upset by the fact that you left me. Truthfully, this doesn't bother me. I mean, how hypocritical would it be of me to be upset. You told me you're a protector against vampires, so you know what the Cullens are, and you definitely know I dated Edward. What you turn into makes no difference to me. I do have a question though. If Jake couldn't see me because of the danger, why were you able to? I mean, you transferred to my school to be close to me. How come you're allowed and Jake isn't?"

Jared looked at me hesitantly. He didn't wanna tell me the reason.

"No secrets," I told him.

Jared sighed. It's just that I don't wanna put this on you. I mean, I planned to tell you, but not until we made our way back to each other," Jared said.

I stiffened at his last comment. "Jared, I can't say right now that that's going to happen. I told you, all I can manage right now is friendship."

"I know, and I'll accept that. I believe we'll make our way back, but I don't intend to pressure you. That's why I don't want to tell you this yet. This will make you feel pressured," Jared said.

"I don't see how it could do that, but either way, I need to know. I need to be able to trust you again, Jared," I told him.

Jared sighed again. "Okay, but just try not to overreact until you've heard me out. It's called imprinting."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Imprinting is finding the person that completes you and claiming them as yours. That person becomes everything to a wolf. Making them safe and happy becomes a wolf's number one priority."

"And you did this with me? You claimed me?" I assumed it had to be me. Why would he tell me this if it weren't me? Also, if it were someone else, he wouldn't be so hell bent on getting me back.

Jared nodded.

I stood up angrily. "Y…You did this without my permission?! How could you?! What exactly did you do to me?!"

"No, it's not like that!" Jared exclaimed as he got to his feet. "It's not a choice."

"Then what?" I asked still angry.

"It's not something that's done consciously. It's like…" He trailed off as though he was trying to find the best explanation possible. "It just happens."

"What does that mean?" I asked in frustration. He couldn't tell me something like this and give me a lame excuse like 'it just happens'. I needed more than that.

Jared sighed. "Okay, let me try to explain what exactly happened. It was the day we first saw each other again at Billy's. I looked at you and it happened. I didn't even realize it until it was done. That's how it happens. You don't choose it. You don't even realize it has happened until it's over."

I started to calm down as I realized that it wasn't Jared's fault. If what he was saying was true, and I knew it was because Jared had never lied to me before, it meant that he had no say in what happened. That, however, started freaking me out as soon as I completed the thought. If Jared had been forced to do it, it meant he might not want it. Feeling the need to try to win me back was all because of this imprinting thing. "I... can't do this. I need to go home."

I started to leave, but Jared grabbed my shoulders to stop me. "No, don't. Talk to me please. Tell me how you're feeling."

"Y…you just admitted to me that this wasn't your choice. What you're feeling is due to nothing but a compulsion," I said. I knew that Jared had loved me before. My conversation with his mother was proof of that. But that could've and probably did change over the years. Now though, he was stuck. He was stuck because this imprinting thing forced him to love me.

"No, please don't think that. It's not like that," Jared said.

"I have to go," I said before walking past him back towards his house where I left my truck.

"Bella, please!" Jared called.

I ignored him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Bella's POV**

I was back to avoiding Jared. For the past week, he'd tried to talk to me every chance he could get. I didn't talk to him though. I just completely ignored him as though I didn't hear him. I just couldn't talk to him, not when I knew that his interest in me now was probably because of some weird mating thing that he had no say in.

I shuddered when I thought about it. I had been so close to letting Jared back into my life. I wasn't going to jump back into a relationship, but I was willing to try to rebuild our friendship. Then I found out about imprinting and what it meant. Now I just wanted to be as far away from Jared as possible. I couldn't be around someone who was forced to be with me.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of a knock at the door. I had been doing the dishes when I heard it. I quickly turned the water off and went to answer the door.

"Please don't be Jared," I said to myself before opening the door. I was shocked by who it was. It wasn't Jared. It was Sam. "S…Sam?"

"Hello, Bella. May I come in?" Sam asked.

"Um, okay," I said before standing aside to let him. He walked inside and I closed the door behind him. "Did Jared ask you to come here?"

Sam laughed. "No, actually my fiancé Emily demanded that I do so."

"Why?" I asked confused. I'd never even met Sam's fiancé. Why would she want Sam to come and see me?

"Well, Jared hasn't been doing so well since your last conversation. Emily has seen it and she's kind of like the Pack mother. She's worried for him and you as well. She knows what it's like to be imprinted on and not understand it too," Sam said.

"I understand it," I said before walking towards the kitchen.

I felt Sam follow me. "I don't think you do understand, Bella. I don't think you get how much you mean to Jared."

"Yes, I do. I know he loves me. I also know he doesn't have a choice," I said as we reached the kitchen. I sat down at the table.

Sam sat down across from me. "You make it sound like we're trapped. I don't see it that way. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy, especially for me. I was with someone else at the time I imprinted on Emily. In fact, it was her cousin. It all changed when I saw Emily.

"You're proving my point," I said. What Sam just told me was more evidence that this whole thing had been forced on Jared. He didn't choose me. He had me forced upon him.

"No. I did have to let go of who I was with and it hurt her, and it hurt me to hurt her, but I love Emily and I'm damn glad I imprinted on her. She means everything to me. But it's not the same for Jared," Sam said.

"You're saying this thing somehow has a different effect on him than it does you?" I asked skeptically. I had a hard time believing that it was somehow different for Jared than it was for Sam. Jared had explained it clearly. Imprinting made wolves devoted to the people they imprinted on. They had no choice in it.

"That's not what I meant. The process is the same. The feelings are the same. But when Jared told me he imprinted, he told me that the imprint didn't really matter. He told me that the fact that you were his future was something he always knew," Sam told me.

I felt hope rise inside me. I wanted to believe Sam when he said that Jared loved me for me, but the part of me that had been left too many times didn't wanna get my hopes too far up. "How do you know he didn't just say that because of the imprint?"

"Because that's not how it works. You don't forget your life before you imprint. I remember loving Leah Clearwater very well. Just like Jared remembers loving you. You know, I knew Jared from before phasing," Sam said.

"Yeah, he said you were friends."

"Yeah, and I always knew something ate at him. He never told me about you, but I did feel like he left someone behind when he moved here. He always talked about how much he hated his mother for moving him here and I always thought that it was about more than just his father. He'd planned to move back to Phoenix as soon as he reached his eighteenth birthday," Sam explained.

I remembered Jared saying that too. He'd told me that he had planned to come back for me when h legally could. The only thing that had stopped him was the fact that he turned into a werewolf. He'd wanted me. He made that clear. Why did I forget that? Why would I think his only interest was because of the imprint? What was wrong with me?

Apparently I'd spoken that last question out loud because Sam responded. "There's nothing wrong with you, Bella. Your distrust is completely understandable. Did you know that I was the one to find you that night in the woods?"

"Yeah."

"I saw what he did to you. I knew the pain it would cause you even after you realized you were better off," Sam said.

I couldn't help but flinch. Despite the fact that I realized I didn't love him, what Edward did to me still hurt. He'd abandoned me like a piece of furniture he didn't want anymore. It made me feel like I was worthless.

"That kind of thing does something to you. I think that when that no good leech left you like that, he took a huge chunk of your self-esteem with him. You don't believe anyone can love you now, do you?" Sam asked sadly.

I shifted in my chair uncomfortably. I couldn't believe that a virtual stranger could see through me like this. How could he know how I was feeling so easily?

"It's not true though. People can and do love you. Your father does. Jared definitely does and so does Jacob. That leech is nothing but a worthless bloodsucker who never should've gotten involved with you in the first place, let alone left you the way he did. You're better off without him," Sam said.

"It's not just him," I said. Edward was not the only reason for me feeling unlovable. I had low self-esteem before he left. He just made it worse.

"I know. Believe me, Jared hates himself for it. He loves you though. He really does," Sam said before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of paper. "This is my address. Come over anytime you want. Jared's there more times than not. Also, Emily can't wait to meet you."

I took the piece of paper. "Why'd you come here, Sam? I know you said your girlfriend asked you to, but there has to be another reason for you saying all this to me. This isn't really your problem."

Sam stood up from his chair. "Actually it is. You're one of us now."

"I'm not a wolf," I said.

"No, but you're an imprint. From the moment Jared looked at you that day at the Blacks, you became a part of my Pack. I'm not about to sit back while two members of my Pack suffer. I'll see myself out. I hope to see you soon,' he said before walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

**Bella's POV**

The next day, I made my way over to the reservation and to the address Sam gave me. I'd thought about everything Sam had said the night before and I decided that I needed to talk to Jared again, and this time, I needed to listen to him without running away. I couldn't jump to conclusions. I had to really hear him out.

I parked my truck in the driveway and got out I walked to the sliding door, which was already open. I immediately noticed Sam in the kitchen kissing a young Native American woman that I guessed had to be his fiancée, Emily.

I thought about leaving. I felt like I was intruding by being here while they were obviously trying to be intimate. Before I could make the decision to leave though, Emily noticed me.

"Oh, Sam, stop. We have company," she said.

Sam turned to me. "Bella, hi. Come on in."

"I didn't mean to interrupt. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come here," I said.

"Don't be ridiculous. I said you were welcome anytime and I meant it. Besides, with the boys showing up whenever they please, you're hardly an interruption. Come in," Sam urged again.

"Thanks," I said before walking through the door.

Emily approached me with an inviting smile. "Hi, I'm Emily. It's nice to meet you. Jared and Jacob have both spoken about you frequently."

"It's nice to meet you too," I said as I briefly shook her hand. "Um, is Jared here?"

"Not yet. He was patrolling late last night, so he probably slept in. I'm sure he'll be here soon though. You're welcome to wait," Sam said kindly.

"Can I get you anything, Bella? Have you had breakfast? The guys ate most of breakfast, but I' sure I can find something," Emily said.

"No, that's okay. I did eat before coming," I told her.

"Come and have a seat, or if you want, you can wait for Jared out back. Paul and Embry are out there now getting things ready for the bonfire we're having tonight. You're welcome to stay for that. We're having a meeting with the council leaders. They'll be going over the legends. Jacob and Embry haven't heard them as wolves yet," Sam said.

"Um, that sounds really private. I'm not sure I should be there," I said as I sat down at the table.

"Of course you should. Yes, it is private, meant only for the tribe and pack members. As I told you yesterday, you're one of us now. Not only are you welcome, but you're encouraged to come. As an imprint, you should know what our tribe is all about," Sam told me.

Just then, I heard someone come in. I looked towards the door and saw Jake there with a huge grin on his face.

"Bella!" he exclaimed as he came over to hug me.

I immediately stood up and went into his arms. "Hey, Jake."

Jacob pulled away after a minute. "It's so good to see you. I'm really sorry I had to stop seeing you. Please believe me, I didn't want to."

"I believe you. Jared told me everything about why we couldn't see each other," I said. There was a time not too long ago where I did feel that Jacob left party because he didn't care enough. I felt like he could've stood against Sam if he wanted. Now I knew though that it was because of the danger.

Jacob stiffened at Jared's name and mumbled something under his breath that I couldn't quite hear. He didn't sound happy though.

"Jacob," Sam chastised. Apparently he had heard him.

"Bella, why don't we go for a walk?" Jake suggested.

I was about to agree, but Sam beat me to the punch. "That's not a good idea."

I whipped my head around to him. "Why not? You said I was part of you. Doesn't that mean that Jake and I can see each other again? He's around Emily, right?"

"Yeah, stay out of it, Sam," Jake said through gritted teeth.

Sam glared at Jake for a minute and then looked to me. His eyes softened. "Bella, it's not just the danger. Your father has asked Jacob to steer clear of you for a while. He spoke to Billy about it and Billy has asked me to enforce it as much as possible. I obviously can't do it completely, but I can respect the wishes of both your fathers' as much as possible."

I was dumbfounded by Sam's words. Charlie banning Jacob from seeing me made no sense at all. Jacob was like the son he never had. At one point, I'd seen hope in his eyes that we'd end up together. "Why would he do that? Charlie loves Jacob.

"You should ask your dad that. The point is that I'm obligated to follow his wishes as much as I can," Sam said.

"Well, I appreciate you wanting to respect my father's wishes, but I'm eighteen. I can make my own decisions," I told him.

"Great, so let's go," Jake said.

"The answer is no, Jacob. You're not going anywhere with her. I know what you're planning to do and I'm not going to allow it. You're not going to get in the way of an imprint," Sam said firmly.

"This is none of your business, Sam. Back off! She's mine!" Jacob yelled.

I whipped my head around to him in shock. Had he really just tried to stake claim to me like I was his property? "What did you just say?"

Jake looked at me. "Bella, you belong with me, not him. I would never leave you like he or the leech did."

"Jacob, we've been over this. I only think of you as a friend and a brother," I told him. I knew before that Jacob had feelings for me, but I told him each and every time he insinuated the possibility of us being together that I didn't see him that way.

"But we could be more. You don't have to accept the imprint, or you could just be his friend. You don't have to be with him," Jake said.

"Jacob, you need to stop," Sam said in a warning tone.

"No, Sam, it's okay. Jake, it's not about the imprint. It's not even about Jared. Even if there was no Jared and no Edward, it wouldn't change the way I feel about you. I would still see you as a friend and a brother," I told him.

"You don't know that," Jake said.

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry. I love you, but not the way you want me to. I can't be anything other than a friend to you."

"But you can for him? He left you! He doesn't really want you. It's the imprint. He has no control over it!" Jake yelled.

I barely had time to register Jacob's harsh words before I heard a growl. I looked towards the door just in time to see Jared charge forward, grab Jake's arm and drag him out of the room. I went to go after them, worried about them hurting each other, but I felt a warm, firm hand on my arm. It was Sam.

"No, Bella. They're gonna phase. I can't allow you around for that," Sam said.

"They're gonna fight. They could hurt each other," I said concerned.

"Yes, they will fight. Jacob just crossed a line. He knew how insecure you were about the imprint and he used that to his advantage. Jared isn't happy. But he won't let things get out of control. I will join them in a few minutes to make sure of that," Sam said.

"H…He knew how I felt and he still said that?" I asked hurt. I couldn't believe Jacob had actually exploited my insecurities for his own gain. He was supposed to be my friend. How could he do that to me?

"Yes, and he was wrong. What he said was not true."

"I…I think I need to go for a walk," I said before starting for the door.

"Bella…" Sam started.

"No, I'll come back. I just need to clear my mind. I wasn't running this time. I'd resolved with myself to hear Jared off and I intended to, but I was reeling right now from Jacob's cruelty and I needed some time to myself.

"Okay. I'll let Jared know when I see him."

I nodded and walked out the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**Jared's POV**

I saw red when I heard what Jacob was saying to Bella. The only time I'd been more angry was when I learned of what the leech had done to her. I just couldn't believe he could say those things to her. Jacob knew that Bella was unsure that my feelings were less than genuine. He knew that because he'd seen my thoughts on the matter while we were phased. He knew it and he exploited it to try to come between us. I was going to kick his ass.

I forcefully dragged Jacob out of the house by the arm. I was barely keeping myself from phasing. Oh, I had every intention of phasing, but I wanted to be far away from Bella when that happened.

Jacob yanked his arm free from my grip just as we got off the porch. "Get your hands off of me!"

"Get your ass in the forest and phase! Now!" I ordered using the same voice Sam had used when giving Alpha commands. As Beta, I had the ability to give commands to everyone in the Pack except for Sam. That would change soon. Eventually, Jacob would take Beta because he was actually supposed to be Alpha. He'd chosen not to take over for Sam so he would soon be given my position. For the moment though, I could command him and I had.

Jacob glared at me before heading for the forest. I followed and we both phased right after hitting the forest.

'_What the hell is wrong with you?!" _I growled angrily.

'_What's wrong, Cameron? Can't handle a little competition?' _Jacob asked smugly.

I growled and bared my teeth at him. _'Competition? Is that what you call exploiting her insecurities for your own gain? How could you hurt her like that? You claim to care about her and you do this to her?!"_

_I do care! I care more than you or anyone else! I'm in love with her!" _Jacob yelled.

I laughed, but there was no humor in it. _'Love? You don't know what love is, not if you think this is how you treat someone you love. What you did to her just now was cruel! You exploited her low self-esteem and made it worse, all because she told you she didn't love you!"_

'_Shut up!" _Jacob snarled before lunging at me.

I immediately stood up on my hind legs anticipating his attack and showed him away. He flew through the air and fell to the ground several feet away. _'You're pathetic, Jacob. You're nothing but a pathetic little boy who threw a tantrum because he didn't get his away.'_

Jacob came after me once more. This time I didn't merely push him back. I lunged at him too and we started wrestling in wolf from in the middle of the forest.

Suddenly we heard the loud, steel voice of our Alpha. _'Enough, both of you!_

We both stopped and looked at the night black form of Sam's wolf. I immediately took a step towards my Alpha. _'Is Bella okay?'_

'_She's upset right now. I'm sure you've gathered that much,' _Sam said before glaring over at Jacob.

'_Did she believe him?' _ I asked. If Bella bought anything Jacob said, if he sent her back any further, I was going to mess him up.

'_Screw you, Cameron!'_ Jacob growled at me.

'_Enough, Jacob!'_ Sam said with authority. _'The way you treated that young woman today was inexcusable. You know what she's been through. You saw in Jared's mind how she reacted to the imprint and you saw through mine what the leech did to her. Not to mention that you saw personally how much it hurt her. Using her insecurities to come between her and Jared was cruel."_

Jacob let out a whine. It seemed he was finally starting to feel guilty. Good. _'I wasn't trying to hurt her. I just wanted her to see that she belongs with me. She does, Sam. I'm the right guy for him, not him.'_

'_No, you're not. Bella is Jared's future and he's hers. He imprinted on her. More than that though, they have history. They already loved each other. You need to back off. You are not going to get in the way anymore. You will never use Bella's pain like that again. In fact, you will have limited contact with her for a while. You will not be alone with her and you won't talk to her unless she asks you to. Is that clear?' _ Sam asked in a hard tone.

'_He has to apologize to her,' _I said. Jacob had been downright cruel to Bella. She deserved an apology.

'_Of course. Jacob, you will apologize and then you will keep your distance as much as possible, only seeing her when she's around the Pack,' _Sam said firmly.

'_You can't do that!'_ Jacob yelled.

"_I just did. I'd already planned to on her father's orders. This stunt proves just solidifies that. It's clear that Chief Swan was right to want you away from his daughter right now. You will keep your distance as much as possible!' _Sam said in his firm Alpha voice.

Jacob whined once more. He knew there was nothing he could do to disobey the order.

'_Sam, I'm going to phase back and talk with Bella,' _I said.

'_Jared, Bella left the house. She said she needed some time to herself. She did say she'd come back though,' _Sam said.

'_No, I'm not waiting. If it's okay, I'm gonna borrow a pair of your shorts and go find her,'_ I said. I didn't wanna crowd Bella, but I wasn't going to let her go another minute thinking I was only interested in her because of the imprint.

'_Of course,' _Sam said.

With that, I took off back towards Sam's.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

After phasing back and getting shorts from Sam's, I went in search of Bella. I found her on the beach sitting close to the water. I immediately went over and sat beside her.

Bella looked over at me and smiled slightly. "Well, you're in one piece. Is Jacob?"

"No damage done unfortunately. Sam broke it up before I could give him the beat down he deserved," I told her.

Bella looked back towards the water. "I can't believe he said that to me. He's supposed to be my friend. How could he hurt me like that? Sam said he said what he did knowing what the words would do to me."

"He did. He thought that if he could come between us, you'd be with him. He knew what he said wasn't true. It wasn't Bella. My love for you didn't just happen because of the imprint. I loved you long before that," I told her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and took off like that. I should've listened to you. God, I don't know how I could think it was just the imprint. I listened to what your mother had to say about what you were like after you moved here. Why would I ignore that?" Bella asked mostly herself.

"Because you've been hurt. You may not have loved him, but Cullen's rejection still hurt you. I have to. You have every reason not to trust my feelings for you, no matter what you hear from others," I said.

"But I know the whole truth now. I should've at least listened fully before jumping to conclusions."

"Will you listen now?" I asked.

Bella nodded.

"I can't say that the imprint didn't affect how I felt about you at all, but it didn't make me love you. I already loved you. How I felt for you intensified, something I didn't think was possible, but it didn't create anything that wasn't already there. Honestly, the imprint didn't really matter much to me. Yes, it intensified things and it made me feel an actual physical connection to you, but it didn't matter to me like imprinting on Emily did for Sam. It didn't because I already knew that you were my future. I didn't need some supernatural mark to tell me that," I told her.

"I…I just don't want you to be with me because you have to," Bella said.

"Bella, I've never not wanted to be with you," I said. There wasn't a day since we met that I didn't wanna be with her. Even when we were children I wanted to be with her. Back then it was just as a friend. Now it was more than that. One way or another though, I always knew we belonged in each other's lives.

"I should've listened to you when you tried to explain. I guess I was just really afraid that it wasn't really you who wanted me. I knew you used to, but now… God, Jared, I think something is seriously messed up with me," Bella said tearfully.

I pulled her into my arms and held her tightly. "There's nothing wrong with you, Baby. You've just been hurt so much that you're afraid to trust. I'm part of that and I'm sorry. If you'll let me, I'll do whatever I can to prove how much you mean to me."

Bella pulled away from me after a minute. "I can't be in a relationship with you right now. I know this imprinting thing makes it so that we probably will end up there, but I just can't do it right now."

"I understand," I told her. And I did. I didn't expect Bella to just accept me back as her boyfriend like nothing happened. I would have to earn my way back to that point.

"But I do want what we had back, at least our friendship. Your friendship was always so important to me. I want it again," she said.

"I would love that," I said smiling. It was a step in the right direction, and I meant it. If we never got back together, I wanted to at least have Bella as a friend.

"Good. So we'll start as friends and just see how it goes."

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. You ready to go back?" I asked before standing up and holding my hand up to help her up.

She nodded and took my hand. I pulled her up and we started the walk back to Sam's.


	17. Chapter 17

**Bella's POV**

After our talk, Jared and I walked back to Sam's. I planned to go home soon, but I did promise Sam that I would go back to the house for at least a minute. Besides, my truck was still in his driveway.

When we got inside, Sam, Emily, Jacob, Embry, and another boy I hadn't officially met were there. I looked over at Jacob and immediately wanted to leave. I was so hurt and angry about the things he said to me. I didn't wanna be near him right now.

"Hey, Bella. Are you alright?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks, Sam," I said.

"Um, Bella, this is Paul," Jared said as he pointed to the boy I didn't know. "I think he's the only one here you haven't met."

"Hi," I greeted.

"Leech lover," Paul greeted back.

Two loud growls could be heard. I knew one was from Jared and the other was likely from Jacob. Jared hauled Paul out of his seat and slammed him against the wall. "You will never call her that again! You will not disrespect her like that!"

Sam immediately got between the two. "Alright, both of you knock it off! You will not fight while there are imprints in the room. Paul, Bella is a member of the Pack now and you will treat her with respect."

Both boys glared at each other but said nothing.

Sam turned to Jacob. "Speaking of, Jacob, I believe there's something you need to say to Bella."

Jacob winced before turning to me. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

A few weeks ago I would've accepted his apology. I wouldn't have thought twice about it. A part of me still considered accepting it for the simple reason that my self-esteem was still pretty low. But if I accepted Jacob's lame apology right now, I would just be telling him that the way he treated me was okay and he would do it again. It was the same thing that happened with Edward. He treated me like his property because I allowed him to. I couldn't let that happen again, not with anyone. "Yes, you did. That's exactly what you meant."

Jacob opened his mouth to interrupt, but I held a hand up to stop him. I wasn't done. "You were lashing out because you were angry at me and at Jared. For some unbelievable reason, you feel as though we've betrayed you. I didn't betray you, Jacob, and neither did Jared."

"It wasn't like that. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I just wanted you to see that I was the better man for you," Jacob protested.

"By what? Preying on my insecurities? You knew what saying what you did would do to me and you did it anyway. You intentionally set out to cause me pain. And you think I should be with you?" I asked in disbelief.

I soon felt Jared's hand slip mine, followed by a squeeze of said hand. This was his way of encouraging me and showing me his support without words. He'd done it several times in the past when he knew I had to handle a situation on my own. This was one of those times. Jacob needed to know that I wasn't going to tolerate any more of his crap.

"I wouldn't leave you like he did!" Jacob said angrily.

"But you did, didn't you? You told me he wanted nothing more to do with me," I said. It was more than a little hypocritical of him to judge Jared for leaving my life when he did the exact same thing. The only real difference was that Jared was kinder about it.

"I didn't have a choice!" Jacob yelled.

"Neither did Jared. His mother forced him to leave and refused to let him even call me. But he didn't treat me the way you did. I didn't lash out at me as if I'd done something terrible to make him leave. And if I had decided to be with someone else, he wouldn't have been happy, but he wouldn't have set out to deliberately hurt me the way you did," I said.

Jacob looked down in shame.

"I have tried so many times to tell you how I feel about you, but you never listen. You've become almost as dense as Mike Newton. So I'm going to say it one more time. We are never going to be together, and that's not because of Jared or Edward. It's because I don't see you that way. You need to realize that. Until you do, I can't be your friend," I told him. I loved Jacob like a brother and I wanted to be friends with the boy who'd helped me come back to life after Edward left, but I couldn't and wouldn't be friends with the cruel person who'd treated me so horribly today.

Jacob looked back up at me with pleading eyes. "Bella, please, don't say that. I'm sorry."

"I've said all I'm going to about this. Accept what I've said to you and then maybe I can accept your apology,' I said.

Jacob looked at me sadly for another minute and then ran out the door.

Jared squeezed my hand again. "You did great. He needed to hear that."

"Thanks. I'm going to head home. Sam, I know you wanted me to go to the council meeting, but could I just catch the next one. It's been a long day," I said.

"Yeah, of course," Sam said.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Jared said before reluctantly letting go of my hand.

"Yeah, I'll see you then," I said before walking out of the house.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

I made it home to find Charlie sitting at the table with the newspaper. "Hey, kid," he said.

"Hey, Dad," I said before sitting down across from him at the table.

"So where'd you head off to this morning?" Charlie asked casually. He wasn't fooling me though. I knew he really wanted to know who I'd gone to see. I rarely left the house for anything other than school lately.

"La Push. I went to see Jared," I told him.

"Oh. Did that go okay?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah. We've decided to be friends again. You were right about Jared and Edward. I didn't really love Edward. I convinced myself that I loved him because I wanted to get over Jared. It hurt so much when I lost him and I wanted that to go away. Being with Edward helped," I said.

"No, it didn't, Bells. You just pushed the pain aside. Trust me, I know. I've made the same mistake. I think everyone who has been jilted has at some point," Charlie said.

"Was that how it was for you after Mom left with me?" I asked. I'd never really considered what he must have gone through back then, but now I could understand what it must have been like because I'd been through it too.

Charlie nodded. Dealing with a failed relationship can be awful."

"It hurt so much when Jared left. Then I got with Edward and made myself forget Jared. Then when Edward left, the pain from both hit me like a bulldozer. I didn't think I was going to survive it. The only way I even managed to come back to life even slightly was through Jacob," I said.

"Um, Bells, there's something I need to tell you about Jacob," Charlie started.

"It's okay, Dad, I already know. You asked Jacob to stay away from me. Jake and Jared have the same friends. I went to Sam Uley's today because that's where I knew Jared would be. Jacob was there as well. There's how I found out what you said to him," I explained upon seeing my father's surprised face.

"Look, Bella, I know you're eighteen and you probably feel that I shouldn't be making these kinds of decisions for you, but I really think that Jacob keeping his distance is for the best right now. For a while I thought Jacob being around was good, but now I'm not so sure. I don't want you making the same mistake with him that you did with Cullen. Plus, I don't trust Jake not to hurt you right now," Charlie said.

"It's okay. I'm not mad. I was confused at first, but now I agree. I'm not planning to make the same mistake I did with Edward. I have no intention of ever being with Jacob. I see him as a friend and as a brother. He can't so that though and until he can, I can't be around him. He made that very clear today," I said.

Charlie's eyes narrowed and began to get angry. "Did he hurt you?"

I sighed. "He said some things that were hurtful, yes. He apologized later, but I didn't accept and I won't until he accepts that we can only ever be friends."

"What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter. I handled it and I told him to stay away until he can accept that we won't be together. I won't have another relationship with someone who treats me like he tried to," I said firmly.

Charlie smiled proudly. "Good for you. What about Jared?"

"Like I said, we're going to try to rebuild our friendship. I don't know if it'll ever go beyond that. I don't wanna think that far ahead right now and Jared is very understanding," I responded.

"Good. I think you've made the right decision. There's no reason to jump into a relationship right now. You're still dealing with everything that happened with those two boys," Charlie said.

I nodded and stood up. "I'm gonna go upstairs. I have test tomorrow that I have to study for."

"Okay. How about we order out tonight? Chinese good?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, that's great," I said before heading upstairs.


End file.
